Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
