Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
