did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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