I'm lost and stupid without you.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
