at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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