I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
