Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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