That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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