Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
