So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
