I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
