She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.