we're blogging at a bar
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
