love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
