is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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