you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
