it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
