He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
