Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
