He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize