yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
