i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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