Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is this like a preordered booty call?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
