How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
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