We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize