Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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