I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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