Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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