i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
