Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
