Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
