I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
