i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
