i dont even know how to be here
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
