We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
