She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dick very happy bro
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize