How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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