Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
