Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
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I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
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My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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