My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
