He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
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I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
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So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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