he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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