I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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