Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
