im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She's the barista slut.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
