OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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