Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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