There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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