But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
