hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
