Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm really busy with my period
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