Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
