you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize