btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
