do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
