My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
