Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
