Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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